The Art of Marriage

To me, marriage is like a blank canvas. The two people who have decided to join their lives are the artists.

Whatever their picture will define the meaning behind their masterpiece.

Some of us are lucky to have dated our husbands before becoming wifey, and others have to decide to get married for personal reasons that we can’t even begin to imagine.

But whatever your reasons are for being married the fact is that you are the wife or husband of someone.

So what kind of picture are you both painting?

Is your canvas filled with colors that make you happy or shades of darkness that bring you to tears?

The painting that is portrayed to the world has to reflect the truth.

So what is your truth?

Are you happily married?

What does your marriage mean to you?

What I find so fascinating about people and the world we live in is that it appears we care so little about foundations.

We see buildings being constructed; we admire architecture that has been around for centuries, and yet we don’t build strong foundations in our lives.

Marriage is the result of the foundation you and that special person started building the first time you met.

It’s the words between two people that created the energy of excitement until the next date. It’s the chemistry that was caused by several encounters together. The laughter and smiles shared secretly. The touch and affection witnessed by friends and family.

The day when you stood in front of God or whoever you worship or not you made a promise to love each other. To lean on the foundation of your relationship no matter what tries to break you!

Marriage is an Art

It can be playful and creative, or you can choose to color between lines and keep to structure. Marriage can be simple and easy, but just like starving artists who cannot sell a beautiful masterpiece, we weaken our marriages from a lack of respect, trust, intimacy, and proper communication.

So many people can’t wait to get married, and others live in fear of tying the knot!

What do you want?

Do you want to be married and have kids?

Do you just want to be left to live your life without the commitment? 

Is marriage forever? Well, it should be, but the reality is that no one knows. To embrace life the way we should, we have to be aware that death can happen. You can have a fairytale marriage, and tragic can happen. If it doesn’t, and you have been blessed to grow old with your beloved, then you have been given a gift.

No one can predict the future, and sadly, divorce happens to the best of couples. Here is a shocking reality! People change!! The person you got married to will change, and so will you. It’s not the worst thing to happen.  The right change is always good.

What happens when the change becomes a dark stroke of the paintbrush? Are you willing to adapt to your partner or let the change affect you?

Well, just writing about marriage reminds me of how complicated it can be.

I have watched programs of marriage and seen marriages happen in real life. I have also been married almost my entire adult life. My experience goes beyond the words on this blog.

What I have witnessed is the amount of work that goes into the wedding itself. Brides focus on getting the perfect bridal gown and a beautiful venue. Everything has to be perfect on the wedding day. Why not? Everyone deserves to celebrate their wedding. However, they wish. It should be a dream come true.

I have to wonder behind the psychology of it. Are couples so fixated on sending invitations and planning a perfect wedding in an unknowing attempt to confront the fear of marriage? Committing your life to someone can be a scary thought. Are you genuinely ready for such a big commitment?

Well, no one will ask you because everyone is too busy focusing on the wedding day. The preparations and excitement are enough to keep everyone from thinking and asking the right questions. Even the guests invited are looking forward to the magical day when they can finally wear their wedding outfits and eat nice food.

Marriage and commitment towards someone extends far beyond the wedding day. It’s the life that is waiting for you after the guests have eaten the wedding cake and  have gone home to their won lives.

Standing at the door to their new life is two artists. Life awaits for them and just like paint is brushed across a blank canvas, and a picture will soon take shape so will a new life begin for two people who are now labeled husband and wife to the world.

How can your marriage be colorful and a beautiful sight to those who see it?

Respect your partner– When you become very comfortable with someone, it becomes easier to lose respect. Saying hurtful things and using language you never imagined you would. Be respectful even when you are feeling disrespected. Walk away from the level that is confronting you. Two wrongs will never make a right.  I believe in standing up for yourself but choose the time to do so. Don’t lower yourself just because someone in front of you is pushing your buttons.

Communication– How we communicate our thoughts and feelings define our actions towards the person we love. If you unhappy, angry or just feeling things you know is not sitting right with you.  Shouting and screaming at someone is going to cause more harm. Think of what’s the best way to resolve conflict?

Patience – We all have just so much to spare. I can tell you that when my patience is up, I’d rather be alone. But sometimes that is not always possible. Patience takes practice. Those of us who have it are gifted. Practice! Practice!

Fun and Creativity-Being married does not and will never define how old you feel. I have seen more aged couples that are so in love, and the smile in their eyes for each other says it all. Have fun in your marriage. Create fun things to keep the romance alive. Tell your partner what you need from him/her. Don’t sit in silence and complain.

Laugh at life– Life is not perfect. Have fun, be silly, and roll with it. Laugh with your beloved.

Forgive – Everyone makes mistakes, to be human is to have an error. No one is perfect. Forgive the small things and work on those big mistakes. If you can’t move on from it. Walk away with forgiveness. If we expect a higher power to forgive, why are we mortals so unwilling to forgive?

Love– I left love for last. Well, there’s no particular order happening here. But how can you claim to love someone when you have no respect, patience, unable to communicate with them and you just not having a happy and fun life. Love will continue to grow if you work on the above.

I hope your blank canvas blossoms into a beautiful priceless masterpiece!

Superlady!